We have two kids (5 and 8) who end up in our bed most nights. Our current mattress is a medium pillow-top and I wake up with a sore back from being pushed to the edge. My wife thinks we should get a firm mattress, but I'm worried it'll be too hard for the kids. Anyone been through this?
Parenting
Should parents buy a firmer mattress if kids often sleep in the middle?
We went firm when our kids were simular ages. It helped with the edge-sinking problem, but the kids didn't complain. They just sprawl out anyway.
I'd be more worried about the kids' sleep quality than the firmness. If they're comfortable now, changing might disrupt things. Have you tried a bigger bed instead?
Firm mattresses aren't necessarily bad for kids. Their bodies are lighter, so they don't sink as much. The bigger issue is you and your wife getting enough space.
A king is out of the question—bedroom is too small. We're stuck with queen. I guess I'm trying to figure out if firmness alone will fix the edge issue or if it's just inevitable with three people.
It won't fix it completely. My husband and I tried a firm mattress and the kids still push us. But at least we weren't rolling into each other.
Have you considered a mattress topper? You could get a firm base and add a soft topper for the kids. That way everyone's happy. We did that and it worked well.
Toppers shift around though. Ours ended up bunched on one side after a few weeks.
Another angle: kids sleeping in the middle means they're often on their backs or sides. A firm mattress gives better support for that. But if it's too firm, they mikght wake up more. Maybe look for a medium-firm instead of extra firm.
We have a medium-firm and its a decent compromise. Not perfect, but better than the old pillow-top.
Medium-firm might be the way to go. My wife is worried about her own back too, she likes soft. But she's also tired of being kicked.
Honestly, the best thing we did was put a mattress on the floor in the kids' room and slowly transition them back. Took a few months but now they only come in when sick. Might be worth trying before spending money on a new mattress.
That's a good point. But if they're coming in every night, it might be a habit. Firm mattress won't fix that.
I'd focus on the edge support specifically. Some firm mattresses have poor edge support. Look for one with reinforced edges if you go that route.